Bereaved Sibing. Pt 3.

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laura.gibbins

Where has the last three months gone? Sorry for the delay. I've just started a new job and life has been one big learning curve, again.

Speaking of learning curves. I did say that this post was going to be about what it was like for me to adjust to the "new normal".

Pretty much from get-go my parents were tag teaming in and out of hospital and work. If they were at home, they were also at work. If they were at hospital, see you in a few weeks. We didn't live close so it wasn't easy to get in to see them. I really wish that I had pushed this more. Forced my way in to the hospital. I really missed out on a lot of time with my sister because of it.

But we just had to make the best of a horribly bad situation. So while my parents were pretty much non-existant for 6 months my grandmother moved in to keep the fort together. All I can say was there were way too many changes, way too quickly. It was really hard. I had just started a new school, was playing sports, trying to be as normal as possible. But my home life wasn't normal. My grandma was living downstairs and my brother and I upstairs. It was a pretty lonely time. I couldn't really get anywhere. I wasn't really allowed people over. I didn't have my mum there either. That was hard.

It was all hard. But you know what. It was not nearly as hard as what my sister was going through. To this day, I still remind myself of this to keep life in perspective.

A huge challenge for us as a family was organising a wedding. My parents were set to be married in september in the most beautiful place. However, said place was definitely not wheelchair friendly. Being on the side of a mountain range and all. At this stage, Kailee was definitely wheel chair bound. So family flew from overseas and we organised the wedding in the backyard. It was beautiful. So while my new-normal wasn't normal. It still had it's bright moments. Filled with love and happiness. That I am grateful for.

One thing I have found from my journey is that life is never normal. You will always be faced with a new situation that you have to rise to. That you have adjust yourself into. But that's ok. It only makes you a stronger and more flexible person.

When I tell people about my journey, the response is always. "Oh my god! That's horrible. I'm so sorry for you". I was sorry for me to. For a really long time. I couldn't get past the fact that the world had robbed me of my sister, of her life. But these days I thank my lucky stars for every last second I had with her. She and our journey is what has made me who I am today. I am thankful for that.

Lx