Dealing with Life

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EmilyJane

Hi,

So I don't know if anyone is going to read this but I thought it might be helpful just to write about my feelings and see where it goes. Basically at the end of 2019 my mum go diagnosed with multiple myeloma and stage 3 lung cancer, this came as a complete shock to me and my family. Since getting diagnosed and starting treatment she has changed a lot, we've never been super close but lately she has been saying horrible things to the point where I hate being around her as she always makes me feel like a terrible person. She spends all day on social media, trying to raise money or talking to other people in her life but when me or my siblings try and talk to her she screams at us and says how dare we disturb her when she's so tired.

I'm finding it super hard to try and maintain a relationship with her while she is like this. I know she needs support and love but I feel like I am draining myself trying to give that to her. I am going into Yr 12 it is the most important year of schooling I have ever had and one that is vital to me getting where I want to go in the future. I don't know how I am going to cope with my heavy course load as well as the mounting tension at home and still receive the results I am aiming for.

I don't know if any other kids experience this but my parents seems to dump their relationship problems on me rather than talking to each other so it can be so difficult these relationships and conversations while they are talking bad about the people I love.

I do love my family they are super important to me and siblings literally get me through everything but I feel like I can never have a break and I just want everything to pause for a few minutes.