2020 keeps getting harder


2020 has been an extremely rough year to put it politely..

Mum was diagnosed roughly 3 months ago now. After Friday she is about half way through her expected chemo treatment (fingers crossed all stays on plan). It has been extremely challenging taking care of my own mental health. On the weekend I was able to hang out with a couple of my close mates who I haven't seen for over a year. It was the first time in a long time I was truly able to reset and relax.

The problem is .. the effects of the weekend did not last long.. mum wasn't feeling well at the start of the week. Then yesterday I found out my grandma was sent to hospital after feeling unwell.. After an X-ray and CT scan, it showed shadows on her lungs from her tests.. Myself and my mum now have a really bad feeling she may have lung cancer.. Dad seemed to make it sound like that was the doctors initial thoughts too.. I hope I am wrong this time. Now the wait begins all over again.. she has a biopsy tomorrow and results probably won't come through until Monday.

It is getting very exhausting having bad news constantly pile up.. Just when I feel like I have had a chance to breathe and reset more news comes through.. even if its not lung cancer.. she is still in hospital unwell from something :(

All I want is a proper break from everything.. apparently that is too much to ask for..