Arghhh - feeling hormonal and moody :(

icecreamlover

Hey guys, I hope you’re all well and especially all of you lockdowners are doing well, here in Melbourne it’s uhh… feeling like 2020 again with no end in sight 😳😮‍💨😑. On top of lockdown being a jerk to everyone, mum was first diagnosed with cancer at the very start of lockdown too and it’s suddenly taking me back to square 1 when I was feeling all of the feels and going through that raw grief. I thought I made progress to where I was pre-lockdown 6.0 (why have there been 6 🙄) but I feel like I’ve regressed. Let’s just say, reliving that horrific grief and trauma, as my teacher explained, without any in-person support is the second hardest part of this horrific cancer journey - the hardest being that first raw grief stage. To make it worse, mum recently went into hospital with an infection and I knew hospital trips to the ER would be a reality but it was her first and on top, it was too surreal and parallel to her first being diagnosed. Her not being home, being in lockdown and not knowing when she’ll come home or when lockdown will end. She came home after 5 days but those have been 5 of the hardest lockdown days - and I’m in VIC - we’ve had TOO MANY lockdown days! As a result I’ve been this big “hormone blob” as I summarised and have been really moody, sleepy and ticked off randomly. Understandably, too, considering everything but ugh I just hate grief so much and I hate the emotional roller coaster that never ends. I hate having to make the people around me deal with it but worst of all, I hate that I feel this way. Like I hate that I’m feeling anger at this level and anxiety and also the numbness that comes after a mood swing/emotional outburst (whether it be a cry or scream into a pillow/at a wall). Argakbsorbekejhfjd I hate lockdown and everything about COVID-19 :( Anyways does anyone have any tips on coping during lockdown and hope you feel free to vent and let it out in the chat space comment area thingy :) Keep hanging in there lockdown survivors, coming from someone who literally thought lockdown would never end after it went on for 7 months, it does end! ❤️ And have a great day, you deserve it! PS: go away lockdown and COVID 😑