my pa has cancer. he isn’t going to well, he has had it for 18 years so longer then i have been alive for but it has recently gotten worse it it now non treatable his doctors have stopped his chemo and all operations. they have warned my gran that he doesn’t have long to live and to keep towels around as it will be a messy death. this was most likely going to be the last christmas with him alive and i didn’t get to spend it with him as i have had school and work to deal with as well and this is hard for me, i have already lost one grandfather and don’t want to lose another. i have to put on a brace face for my brothers as they are younger then my and probably don’t fully understand what is happening to pa. when i last saw him i gave him a hug and said “i love you” before leaving for the airport and his reply was “i know ...... i know you do” and i just bursted into tears in front of everyone, it was hard to say my possible last goodbyes.