Coping with the New "Normal"
"Your mother has lymphoma". How do you cope with that news when it has completely come out of nowhere? The past few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster. I don't feel like I have been coping very well.. but tonight I decided to have a 1:1 with one of the amazing counsellors through this app. It made me realise that even though you may not feel like you are coping.. when you don't feel strong enough.. if you alter your perspective slightly and step back, considering everything happening in this crazy world you might be doing better than you think. Tonight I have really taken some time to reflect.. I finished uni and moved back home. I have recently started my first full time job. Seniors have quit reducing my supervision. Most of my amazing friends live in different towns. My sister is stuck in Victoria. My boyfriend is finishing uni and I barely see him. COVID.. yes that still exists.. and my mum was recently diagnosed with cancer.. that big awful c word.. Now this weekend.. mum had a bad day. I did the grocery shopping, watching her in pain was too much.. I went to my bedroom and cried. It was all too much. She then messaged me asking me to take her to the chemist. I wiped off the tears, took a breath, washed my face and carried on as if nothing had happened. The entire day felt to much. My heart ached and I just wanted to cry. All I wondered was how am I meant to support my family when I don't feel strong enough. Tonight I realised a few important things.. I am still going to work each day in a new full time position which is also a new career. I am cooking, cleaning and shopping for my family. I am dealing with a long distance relationship (..again). I am dealing with not seeing friends and family because of COVID. I am still going to taekwando 1-2x per week regardless of how exhausted I am. I am still going for walks. I am eating reasonably healthy. I am trying to be honest and admit my emotions. I may feel exhausted, I may go through 1000 emotions in several hours, I may cry when it becomes too much.. but I realised I need to step back and acknowledge that life is hard right now.. and I am trying really hard. It's okay to be upset and cry. That does not mean I am not strong enough. That does not mean I am absolutely struggling. It simply means I am human. I hope you can all step back and be kind to yourselves too♡ It is okay to not be okay. That does not mean we are weak. We can work through these battles together. None of us are alone x I have already found so much comfort within this group. Thank you x