Dilemma: To go back or to stay here


My mom was diagnosed with bowel cancer last year July when covid situation was pretty bad around the world. She is in my home country and I have been living in Australia for 7 years (for study and work), still waiting to get my Permanent Residency that I have worked on for the past two years. As I wasn’t thinking to go back till I get my PR visa due to the border restriction, the pressure I get from my family and friends back home are stressing me out. They are questioning why am I not with my mom yet and how long am I staying here for etc. I love my mom a lot, we are very close and we talked on the phone everyday but it breaks my heart thinking I couldn’t be by her side even though I know she’s doing well with her chemotherapy. She told me to stay here as she didn’t want to hinder my future but I know she wants me to be with her. If I choose to leave everything behind, I will lose my career and opportunity to stay here. I know it is very selfish of me to think about my future plan at this time, but I feel hopeless just thinking about living in my home country, no work life balance, racial inequality, high crime rate etc. I just dont want to be stucked there for the rest of my life. Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading this.❤️