I lost my father one month ago, and haven't been able to feel the same without him here by my side. He was my best friend, shoulder to cry on and we leaned onto each other for support.

I only had my father in my life for the past two years, since we got back in contact after 9 years, I'm 16 ( soon to be 17) when he came back into my life he was only supposed to be visiting but we got so depth in conversation that he asked me if I wanted him to stay and if I said yes he would stay here for me, I of course said yes and front there on, I was by his side daily. It was the holidays and I just remember staying with him days on end, I didn't want to leave his side.

He soon got a place here and I remember us talking for hours, we would speak everyday, not a day that he was here where we wouldn't speak, we spoke about our lives in so much depth that we knew so much about each other and soon became best friends.

I spent every weekend and holiday with him just creating memories, I knew there wasn't much time left and I wanted to know him as best I could.

When he started to become sicker it would be good days and bad but that didn't start happening till last year, I would try and cheer him up, help him when needed and told him he wasn't going anywhere. Every time he tried to tell it wasn't long now, I would tell him no not for a while, but I guess time can't last forever.

I guess that's the thing about cancer you just don't know when it will come to an end, dad had told me he wanted me to hold his hand in the end, when it was time and I had hoped so too. I went with him to his appointments, and chemo and anywhere he wanted or needed me, he had to go into hospital a couple of times and I would make sure I was there by his side.

Dad started to get weaker by the start of this year, he had stage 4 lung and throats cancer and it had just started to spread to his brain yet it was too late to do an operation which then lead to radiation, which lost his hair.

I treated him the same. With love and care and like a best friend. I didn't want to lose him and he didn't want to lose all his children. He was only 45 and I had only just gotten him back.

I didn't see my friends much, only at school and all I wanted to do was be with my dad. Not many of my friends understanding the situation very well and probably won't unless they experience it. I didn't really have any one too talk to, except dad.. he was my rock.

And now I don't really feel like I have anyone to talk to. Although dad was getting sicker, he had good days too, we still laughed and were happy all the time, just some days it would be a movie day instead.

He picked me up from my tafe every Wednesday and when I first started driving he wanted to be the one to teach me a manual, and he was able to do that for a little bit . Which I loved, even though we bickered.

I definitely didn't expect the time to come this soon even though he's had so long, diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago with only 6 months . He was a fighter and so strong.

My little sister whom is 5 now has become my world since meeting her, when she came here with dad. And I told dad I'd always protect her.

We were like the three musketeers, doing everything together. He was such a caring person too, he showed me this site to make friends or connect :-) but I was really weary at the start, but now I'm doing it for dad.

I sit in tears every night thinking about my dad, not being able to talk to him anymore or give him a cuddle. He was my biggest support. He encouraged me to be the best that I can be and that is what I'll prove to him. I don't have a way to cope with this yet but I hope one day I do. I wasn't there to say good bye to him, but I was by his side as soon as I found out.

That's my story (well the run through) thanks for listening.

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